Monday, May 23, 2005


Okay, this post was going to be about last weekend, but it's getting too long, so it's gonna post in installments. It turns out I have too much to say about the Best Waiter Ever....

So as you may know if you read martini's blog on a regular basis that Friday night always starts at 4pm at our favorite bar. Why is it our favorite bar? Well, that would be because they employ the Best Bartender Ever (BBE), the Best Waiter Ever (BWE) and the Best Happy Hour Ever!!! So I met martini and mzmojo there and we kick it off with the Best Martinis Ever (BME). Mmmmmm.... Washington Apple Martinis..... Where was I? Oh, yeah. So we basically drink and stared at the staff. Mojo wasn't too impressed with BBE (what was she thinking? Honestly every time we go there, they get hotter and hotter. You might think that the BME's are making the BBE look better than he really is, but no, I've seen him when I'm sober and well, just trust me.

So, we take it kinda easy since we know that we are going to be drinking all night. But I drank my BME's a little too fast and ended up with a nice buzz (no complaints). Then I discovered some things about the BWE that made him even better. First, I found out that he just got a puppy. A puppy! What girl can resist a puppy. No I haven't seen it in person, but he did show us a picture on his cell phone. (He has a pic of his dog on his cell phone!) Damn, I'm a sucker for guys that love dogs. Anyway, so I ask him what kind it is: Pug (How fickin awesome is that...not my favorite breed, but still fickin cute as hell). Then I have to ask his name: Fizzgig (from The Dark FAVORITE movie as a kid). I'm already starting to feel a tiny infatuation coming on, then I see him scrolling thru the other pics on his phone and I see a baby. I'm thinking "Is it his?" So I ask of course. He explains that it is his 4 month old niece. "Isn't she adorable?" he asks. (He keeps a pic of his niece on his cell phone too!). So he was telling us how the next day was his birthday and it sucked because he had to work a double shift since they are short handed. (Poor BWE) So I ask "Who is gonna watch Fizzgig?" (knowing it is a puppy and all, and can't be left alone). He says oh my sister watches Fizzgig and I pay her back by watching my niece. (Okay I almost fainted. First, he loves dogs enough to get a baby sitter for them. Second, he is able to watch a 4 month old baby without freaking out. I didn't know these guys were out there-sorry guys). So he leaves to wait on another table. I turn to Martini and ask "Is it insane that I am totally turned on by the fact that he loves dogs and kids?" She just laughs and says no of course not. So the infatuation is in full force. But wait, it will get even worse before the weekend ends. We'll get to that later.

So, we leave a couple hours later and head to another bar across town to drink and watch the Suns game. (kickass game by the way) I decide to halt the drinking so Martini, Mzmojo and Mymellowme (who met us there) can get their drink on. Great game, lots of people, lot's of Redbull and Vodka's later, we decide to head to another bar to hang and play pool, etc. Well by the time we get there (it was only 10:45 or so mind you) and lets just say that the game of pool was interesting. Balls were flying off the table, vomiting (not on the pool tables) and drunken audioblogs all around. Pizza became immediately necessary. Now the ordering process was very amusing from my sober stand point. Martini trying to drunk order a pizza with two more drunks loudly giggling and singing in the backseat. (What was funnier was that I had to remind martini which card she used to order the pizza the next morning). Damn that was funy. So we had 40 minutes til Pizza Hut arrived.....what could we 'bout buy more alcohol!!!! Oh yeah. We head to the grocery store to buy The Captain. We love the Captain. He treats us well, and guarantees good times! Well, drinks were mixed continually throughout the evening, drunk calls were made to old friends, cheese sticks were thrown and my cheeks and abs hurt from laughing so much! We decided to sit out on the patio to talk cuz the weather here kicks ass right now. We started by talking about how we love Captain Morgan and how fickin cool it would be to be a pirate. Then mellow talk the funniest damned joke (considering the mass amounts of Captain that had been consumed) :

"Why didn't the parents let their child see the pirate movie?"

"Because it was rated Arrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!"

This was side splittingly funny at the time. Then the conversation turns to pool jumping. This leads to the great idea of jumping in the pool. Unfortunately the complex pool is locked after midnight. So we decide that jumping the fence is fine, but then the sprinklers come on. Yep. we ran through the sprinklers like a bunch of 5 year olds. It was awesome. It's like 3 in the morning, and we're all soaked from the waist down. What a sight! It was great. It's finally time for bed when the sun starts coming up, and the fifth of Captain was empty. Good Times, Good Times. More to come to complete the weekends events....

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Blogger Block Sucks

The following post is my insides spilling out, trying to sort out what has been bothering me. So it may not make sense to you, and I apologize for that, but I just needed to get it out. If you would like to read on, put your feet up and pour a drink cuz it's a long one.

You have heard of writers block I am sure. But I don't consider myself a writer, so I guess I would have to explain my absence as "Blogger Block". I just can't get up the energy to form sentences out of the thoughts in my head. It's been an interesting last week. There are things that I could post on that could make you laugh. Like the Taxi guy at the bar on Sunday. The apartment lady on crack. These made me and Martini laugh so hard we were crying. However I don't really feel like laughing right now. I am more in the crying mood.

There is no way I could possibly write about what's going on with me, in a way for you to totally understand my situation. It's just that my emotions are totally all over the place. When The Marine and I broke up, I tried to deal with the loss at the time. My life had stopped and turned upside down. But after two days, I realized I couldn't do it. I couldn't deal with it. So I stuffed it down into a pandora's box that is now coming back to haunt me. But I needed to either heal FAST, or deal with it later, so I could finish the semester, and keep getting up in the morning so I kept my job, even thought I wanted to die. So I chose to to take raincheck on reality. I had work to do. I had to start building that infamous wall we all have (or most of us anyway) been talking about lately. My wall was totally gone. Foundation and all. I had to start from the ground up. I even had to buy new bricks. I destroyed the old ones. Two and a half years and an engagement ring gave me that stupid false sense of security against future attacks. So I was unprepared when it hit. Totally unprepared. I never saw it coming.

Then after the attack and the some of the smoke cleared, I had the enemy coming in asking if he could help me rebuild. What? you say....Ya. I know it's fucked up. It makes no sense. We have pretty much talked in one way or another everyday since this happened. It was mostly me lashing out at first and then I realized it was for the best that we called things off for now, and tried to be friends. That's what we started out as. And once I was outside, I realized that we were failing fast. If he hadn't done what he did, we would have ended up hating each other. I am NOT saying that the way he handled it was right. But it did turn out to be a good thing. So we talked, everyday, like we used to when we first met. Suddenly our conversations were light, hilariously funny ( I forgot how funny we used to be around each other), and satisfying rather than tense and emotional. But it was so weird that we both wanted to still say "I love you" at the end of the call, etc, but we didn't. We both had admitted that we were still in love with each other, but we were not going to keep saying it, because that makes things so complicated. That would make us more than friends and right back where we were. There is SO much more to this story, I could go on forever. Basically, even after agreeing to not say we love you, he broke and confessed that he is still in love with me, and wants no one else for the rest of his life, and that he hopes we will be together again someday, etc.

I didn't know what the fuck to do!!! My foundation was set and dried. My bricks were about 4 feet high; not enough to prevent these damned feelings that keep trying to seep their way in. Now all of a sudden he is right back inside those damned walls. So what did I do? I ran. I ran as fast as I could, found the nearest hole and buried my head in the sand, hoping that if I hid, maybe this situation will fade away as if it never happened. I avoided him. I wasn't home for him to call me. I wasn't online for us to talk. I would shoot him an IM and ask how he was and apologize that I can't talk because I was busy. I WAS busy. But I was busy because I MADE myself busy. He NEVER came out and expressed his feelings like that before. I always wanted him to. And then he does it when we are supposed to just be friends? I didn't know how to act. Well, what I did was shitty. All I had to do was tell him that I didn't feel comfortable talking about that. But I ignored him. I feel bad. But unfortunately, that is what I do when I am faced with a problem sometimes. This is something I need to work on.

But last night this all came down and he explained that he will never reveal his feelings to me again. He will never tell me he loves me again. He thinks I was playing a game with him, Trying to hurt him to get him back for hurting me. Now he is so angry with me and refuses to talk about anything other than light conversation with me. So you would think that I would be relieved, right? This is what I wanted right? When he DID open up, I avoided him and ran. I ignored him. Now that he is refusing to open up, I feel like I'm losing him all over again. It just killed me to know that I hurt his feelings, and that he is angry with me. NOTHING hurts me more in life than knowing that I did something shitty to someone close to me. I just feel like shit. Absolute shit.

Why am I so upset that he closed up on me? Isn't that what I wanted? I am so fucking confused. I don't even know for sure what I am feeling right now. All I know is that I want to be with him again someday. But not now. We can't just go back to where we were. It's too late. The only thing we could do is try to be friends and maybe start completely over eventually. Now I'm afraid that I fucked it all up.I just want things to go back to the way they were last week. I wish last week never fucking happened.

There is no need to comment on this post. This was mainly to get shit off my chest and to try to write shit down in hopes to try and discover what the hell I am really feeling. Like That Girl (and others) have said, we tend to post with the expectations of others reading it. So I was hesitant to post with the thought that it may be a little depressing and not very entertaining. But I need to get this shit out. Normal programming should resume

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

C'est Tout! & "She's a MAN?!?!?!?"

"That's All!"

What a beautiful phrase in any language. That's all. Finals are done. I am relatively happy with my performance. I could have done better and studied harder. However, I got by, and am SO relieved!
The reason for the last short post ? Who knows. I think it's a consipacy going on at work. I think they are contemplating taking away all non-work related email. More and more sites are being "blocked" and for the last few days, about 90% of the sites we try to access, says "unable to locate server". How can you locate a server when I'm searching for "some" sites, but not others? If you can't find the server, you can't find the server. Am I right? It's wierd. Oh well. No one wants to say anything to the IT guys in fear of our supervisors actually finding out how much time we actually SPEND on the internet. So we remain silent, and frustrated. Meanwhile, for some reason, martini and I could only post about 2 sentences on our blogs at one time. If we tried to post a larger blog, we kept getting "this page could not be located" or "unable to locate server". GRRRRRRRR (as martini would say) lol.

Anyway, when I finshed my Biology final last night, I was so excited that I did well, that I immediately called martini to see if she would join me for a celebratory drink. She agreed, and unfortunately, I assisted her in breaking her "no beer until vegas" rule. Sorry martini. Anyway, we head to one of our favorite spots where martini is known pretty well, and her "regular" status got us a free shot from the bartender. He couldn't tell us what was in it. He said he wasn't sure. It was some concoction he made up. It actually tasted like a very strong banana-strawberry smoothy. Mmmmmmm. We justified taking this shot on a Monday night because it smelled and looked and tasted healthy. Hey if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck.....So.... I then point out this UGLY wasted chick falling all over this creepy old guy that obviously looking for some cheap action. I was telling martini it makes me sick to see creepy old guys and ugly trashy women practically having sex on the damn bar. We laughed about it for a little while and turned our attention to the Suns vs. Mavericks game. Steve Nash this...Steve Nash that....blah blah blah. Then martini says, hey that guy that was with her just dissappeared. I looked over...sure enough. She was by herself. Teetering on the bar stool, barely able to sit up straight she was so drunk. I see her having a conversation with the bartender. Then we see her stumble out of the bar. There was only about 10 people in the bar at that time, and we were ALL watching her leave, laughing our asses off. Then I hear the bartender imitate their conversation:

(Imagine a very slurred, thick Mexican accent...) "I have no mon-nee...hee hee hee!!!!"

Okay, that does it no justice. It was so fickin funny! Apparently she just walked out on her tab, trying to tell the bartender to put her drinks on the guy's tab that was sitting next to her. He was like "No lady, that guy bolted, the tab is yours." That's when she said (slurred) she "had no mon-nee..hee hee hee" and stumbled out. Then, I hear the bartender make a remark that one would make about a man. (I can't remember exactly what he said, sorry, but I'm sure it was rather vulgar anyway) So I turn to martini and say "Wait....that was a MAN?!?!?!" She just looks at me like "duh, jyny". It all made sense suddenly. That's why she was such an ugly woman. That's why that guy sitting next to her hauled ass out of the bar like that. LOL Aw, man. Good Times, man...Good Times...

I swear there is a post coming...


Sunday, May 08, 2005

It's "NUN" ya bid-ness...

No not really....but that saying just popped into my head when I posted a pic on my profle. Most people in blogland don't post pics because it's not necessary to see what we look like. But pics are fun. Especially halloween pics! So who knows how long I will keep it up. You can't tell what I look like COMPLETELY, but it is me as my alter ego...the Pregnant Nun with Horns (horns optional). I started the night as just a pregnant Nun. That was fun, then this crazy Medusa looking girl corrupted my look with a pair of devil horns (you can see them if you look close). I grew to like them over the next hour or so, so they stayed. And Voila! SO....if you were not offended enough by my Halloween costume to remove me from your link list...then I'll see ya on Monday!!!!

Thursday, May 05, 2005


Well, I just got done with my oral French final. My partner and I practiced for an hour straight right before we went in to present. We did perfect every time. And then we get in there, 1/2 way through the presentation and I skip like 4 lines. My partners face was hilarious. I knew I fucked up, but I couldn't remember what I missed. She covered for me beautifully. Thank God. So I know my prof knows I screwed up, but we smoothed it out enough to get by okay. Now I just have my Biology final on Monday and my French written final on Tuesday. Then I am done! I was going to take the next two semesters of French this summer to get them over with, but I have changed my mind. I am taking the summer off to work my ass off and save some money. Maybe that's stupid. But I don't give a shit. I have nothing saved anymore and I need to have some money in the bank. So that is what I am going to do. I work 30 hours a week now at my job. If they won't give me 40 then I will probaly just get a second job. If I do that, I will probably get a job at a food place so I don't have to buy food. I can just take some home at night. I told myself that I would never work fast food, but I could work somewhere like Baja Fresh or Paradise Bakery or somewhere that serves salads and "good for you" food. So many choices.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


I guess this is why I have a thing for Latinos....interesting...

I got this from AmberLynn...try it out!

Your Inner European is Spanish!

Energetic and lively.

You bring the party with you!

I microwaved my keys....

That's right. I MICROWAVED my friggin keys! How could this happen, you say? Well, I was forced to be frugal since my fickin purse was stolen in Ghetto Ass Laughlin (post to come later) so I had no access to money with my accounts being shut down and all. So, I grabbed a bagel and an orange to eat at work, placed them in a bag and headed out the door. When I get to work, I get out of my truck, walk to the elevators (outside) and notice Psycho Homeless Breakdancing Guy heading my way at alarming speed. So I dropped my keyes into the bag and pressed the down button as fast as I could while staring at this freakshow, trying to judge how long I will wait before I run. Finally the door opens and I jump inside, pressing the [><] (close doors) button and shrinking into the corner of the elevator trying to catch my breath as the doors close (why do they close so slow when PHBG is after you, but so fast when you are trying to sneak into them?). Anyway, all this madness caused me to forget that I had placed my keys in the bag with the bagel and orange.

Time passes and I take out the orange and decide that I will heat up the bagel inside the bag to keep it moist. I wrap the bag around the bagel and place into the microwave in the breakroom. Set it for 25 seconds and turn around to watch the TV. It beeps when done, and I grab the bag and head back to my desk. On my way there I notice something hard in the bag. I am wondering what the hell it is so I unroll the bag and reach in to feel my KEYS at the bottom of the bag, just a tiny bit warm and covered in poppy seeds. I stop in the hallway and just stare at them with my mouth open. WTF?

How did it not blow up the microwave? Did I just have fate on my side? Did the Power That Be decide I had enough bullshit happen to me this weekend, that He decided to let this one slide? Or are keys not metal? There were only 2 keys, one spare Toyota key (no black plastic top since it is a spare) and a shiny new silver house key (had to have house locks changed since my address was on my ID along with all my keys in my purse). The keychain is a metal dog tag with a key ring that the keys are on. All appearing to be metal. Is it only alluminum that catches fire in a microwave? Hey Dan the Science Man, do you know how this happened? I am stumped.....thankful but stumped none the less. Hmmmmmm......