Tuesday, January 31, 2006

A small post for now

***WARNING, I AM GOING TO USE PROFANITY IN THIS POST***

So if you are at work, and they monitor you, don't read it.



FUCK HIM for calling me and making me cry.

FUCK HIM for being condescending and telling me that "he knows I am going to find someone else and be happy someday".

FUCK HIM for telling me that "he knows it's hard for me to hear his voice".

FUCK HIM for continuing to call me after I emailed him and told him I can only talk online and not on the phone anymore.

FUCK HIM for telling me he does it because he still wants to hear my voice everyday.

FUCK MYSELF for losing my nerve and answering the goddamned phone.

More later... no really I promise. I just need to cry and smoke and go to bed. And yes I am aware that it has been 9 fucking months since we broke up. I am dealing with it the best I can. I have more good days than bad now...this just isn't one of them.